today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED
pro tip: in a zombie apocalypse, your first stop shouldn’t be a guns shop, it should be a hardware store. not only are they stocked with enough caustic materials and sharp weaponry to make your head spin, they usually also have camping and survival gear as well as food. and most are windowless and easy to defend. just saying.
pro tip 2: Buy the shark mail that divers use. If a shark can’t bite through it, neither can a zombie